I. An Electrifying Discovery
Many, many years ago, in my very first job after college, I was working as a civil engineer in a midsized consulting firm. Two years in, I was finding it stressful and frustrating. One day I found myself having lunch in the conference room with an assortment of other staff who had dropped in. I looked around, and without thinking at all, I suddenly commented that all the women in the office were in the room. Everybody looked up, startled. I went on to say (still without premeditation):
“Since we’re all here, I have a question. Do you feel supported and appreciated, working here?”
Spoiler alert: nobody did.
This group included several women engineers, plus all the support staff (technician, graphic artist, typists, librarian, receptionist…those were all standard positions back then). None of us were very senior; we didn’t have much power. But the question stirred up a powerful conversation. We all agreed that if we felt more support from those around us, we could accomplish more in our work and enjoy it more. Just talking about it gave us all a sense of mutual support and appreciation. Without even asking for any change at the leadership or corporate level, we had a newly energized group that was suddenly more creative and productive. That energy continued in the following days and weeks, and gave us a new feeling of strength and purpose.
The men in the office, all more senior, were nice enough people. But they didn’t seem particularly open to a conversation about support and appreciation. I saw the disconnect between their “just get the job done” approach and the “let’s open up the energy and creativity” approach that galvanized the women. I didn’t stay at that company very long afterward, but I never forgot how energizing it was to create a sense of teamwork and mutual support.
II. Community Team
Some years later, I organized a community group for parenting support, by the old-fashioned means of posting a paper notice on a cork bulletin board at the grocery store. (That’s what we did before the Internet, kids!) The families were out there, with an identifiable need, ready to be organized. All it took was my willingness to bring them together and provide some structure. We met monthly and helped one another in various ways for several years. We traded babysitting, had picnics, shared ideas and skills, and at one point even helped save a life: a friend with a rare blood type needed an emergency blood transfusion, and we mobilized the group to find a donor with the right type.
III. Mission and Stress
Many community groups and workplace teams later, I landed in a primary health care clinic as director. This was part of a network of community health centers: federally and privately funded not-for-profit organizations that provide medical care and social services for underserved populations. My particular health center was medium-sized, with a staff of 25. The health center has been in the same neighborhood for over 40 years. The work had meaning and value every minute, and an endless variety of things to do – literally never a dull moment.
However, there were a great many stressful moments. Never quite enough staff, never quite enough resources, patients with endless urgent needs and very difficult lives.
I found the staff to be mostly very dedicated, caring people. Some were supportive of their co-workers, while others took out their stress on those around them. How do you run an organization that is constantly under-resourced? I didn’t know how, but I did know that things could be made better by changing the culture. I vividly remembered the energy created by the conversation about appreciation and support in my first job.
IV. Staff Retreats!
Ok, guys, we’re going to have a staff retreat! I set aside an afternoon, bought lunch, worked with others to prepare some games, lined up a funny video to show, and let everyone know that attendance was mandatory. The theme was emotional intelligence. The through line was “we are all human beings, we’re here doing very challenging work, and we need to be connected and supportive.”
Several hula hoops/silly games/earnest group discussions later, they were a changed staff. The atmosphere became warmer, more appreciative, friendlier, less blaming. Most of the staff understood and supported the goal of being a real team.
We went on to become one of the highest-performing, longest-tenured health centers in the large network. Many staff members said that they loved working there, because of the great teamwork. I stayed in the director position for ten years, running retreats for my staff every year and always working on teamwork and emotional intelligence.
V. Coaching and Support Network
I also focused on networking with the leaders of other sites in the same (large) organization of many health centers. For several years I organized monthly informal get-togethers with fellow directors, meeting at different sites so that we could see each other’s buildings and staff and operations.
The mutual support made the directors’ jobs much more doable. We exchanged problem-solving ideas, best practices, logistical information, and friendly emotional support. The efficiency I gained in my work was enormous, and other directors said the same for themselves.
In some of these meetings, I told the other directors about my staff retreats and how much they had improved our teamwork. Everyone wanted to do the same thing, but it turned out that not everyone likes getting up in front of their staff to lead silly games and deep conversations (surprise!). I had found that I actually LOVED doing that, so I offered to lead retreats for other sites. Over the next several years, I led over a dozen staff retreats, and each group reported that their morale and teamwork improved.
During my time as clinic director I took many courses on leadership, teamwork, and emotional intelligence. Eventually I obtained a coaching certification through New Ventures West, whose powerful year-long coaching program emphasizes vertical development of the coach. I continued to coach internally in my organization – in between dealing with staffing and supply issues, plumbing problems, budgets, communication problems, and patient complaints.
VI. Things I Can’t Fix
Sometimes there were situations I couldn’t fix because of lack of resources, system constraints, or uncooperative people. These gave me good practice on one of my guiding principles for how to do a job that was fundamentally impossible: “I’ll give it my best shot. At the end of the work day, if I’m going to do this again tomorrow, I need to go home on time and get some rest.”
I’m not a fan of overwork. It creates burnout and wastes energy. My brain is hugely more productive when I’m well rested. There is plenty of research out there documenting that people who work long hours are not nearly as productive as they think they are. And multitasking isn’t a real thing, either. Brain research shows that we are deluded, and very inefficient, if we think we can do more than one thing at a time.
Another principle I used often was “Declare victory and retreat.” Or, after a particularly crazy incident (we had many, because of our eclectic patient population and city location): “That’s one for the never-a-dull-moment file.” For example, the dead rat outside our back door one Monday morning. The sewage overflow from a broken waste pipe. The fire in the dumpster (a literal dumpster fire!). The patients with mental illness who demanded impossible things. Keeping a sense of humor was essential.
VII. A Calling
Day-to-day troubleshooting was my main job, but internal coaching of teams and individuals was my “side gig” for the rest of my years as director of the health center. Finally in 2020 I realized that I had a calling to do more coaching and less plumbing. I created an organized handoff of my position, said goodbye to the many people I loved there, left the organization, and opened my coaching business.
Helping not-for-profit organizations run better, through teamwork and emotional intelligence, is my favorite work. I also love coaching individuals to help them live more intentionally, happily, and vibrantly. The two go hand in hand. Happy and self-aware individuals do better work and are better team players; teams that create trust and shared commitment are more efficient and (not coincidentally) happier. The whole world gets a little better when people are freed up to do their work with creativity and energy. So here I am, helping people create kick-ass teams and be happy!
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